Do you ever feel so lonely that you think you might cry?

That’s how I’m feeling right now. Yes, I have friends and family… all of whom that love me very much, but, come to think of it, I have never ever actually been loved in that intimate kind of way; not how a ‘boy meets girl’ kind of way. It’s been swelling up inside of me, this new found hatred for ‘love’ the goofy kind that you find in movies and my new found liking of neglecting such unrealistic forms of relationships. Honestly, how many times have you ‘loved’ someone and not recieved that same kind of affection back. One too many. I have never had my heart truly broken, because it’s hard to let people in, and the people that I do want to let in are usually assholes and manwhores. Yes, I know, one isn’t supposed to find these traits attractive but I do, and a thing I also do is obsess over certain individuals. From my guy bestfriend in year 7 to the ‘cool’ guy in year 8 to the womanizers and smooth talkers and absolute pricks. Everytime I think i’ve found someone I would even remotely think of building something with, I’m the one who gets ignored and pushed away. Like that black guy from ‘The New Guy’ says, “the sex you want, you ain’t gettin and the sex you gettin, you don’t want.”

i guess, a girl just has to make do with what she has… and that’s absolutely nothing, well… where love/boys are concerned. Fuck it. Just got to face it, “He’s Just Not That Into You”.